16 January 2010

Is it just because I'm his mom, or is this REALLY funny?

My oldest son, Jordan, who is 27, is doing what is called a PRACS study in Fargo. It's a clinical pharmacological study using paid volunteers. He's done several in the past and they're supposed to be pretty safe. He's doing this 12 day long study to raise funds for his move to Ft. Worth. Anyway, I thought I would share what he's been putting on Facebook since he got there. You can tell he's been watching too many war movies!

PRACS study log- study minus 2: Food supplies are holding ... movie supply is WELL stocked.... I'm settled into my temporary snow cave but I'm not going to get too comfortable. I've heard some rustlings in the distance and the tracks I crossed yesterday have me planning a move to some higher ground ... END OF TRANSMISSION

PRACS study log- study minus 1: My American body isn't used to only eating 2 or 3 times a day. I'm experiencing some sort of "gurgling" in my stomach...not sure what that means... Today we were placed in sensory deprivation, forced to lie flat with no electronics for hours at a time. I'm proud of my men. Not one broke under the unthinkable strain.

PRACS study log-Day 3 dose day: The days are all blending together now, though I'm pretty sure it's not one of the first two days...because that would mean I'd skipped ahead and done the third day early...The Nazi scientists dosed us with some sort of hallucinogen this morning, doubtless a last ditch effort to extract information...Then the purple ponies flew in on dazzling pumpkins...and the coleslaw...Dennis Quaid...

PRACS study log-Day...6ish: We lost a man yesterday. We think the probing finally broke his will but there is a growing chatter among the men that he was assimilated by his mattress during a sensory deprivation period. In an attempt to raise morale we fashioned some farkle dice from dissected urinal cakes.

PRACS study log-Day 8 : We've all settled into a comfortable monotony. We quietly begin to forge plans of escape. Goldwyn smuggled a cafeteria tray to the holding cell in his stomach. We begin tunneling with it as soon as...it becomes available. We'll get rid of the concrete and soil by sprinkling it into our leftover soups and mud pack facials ...

PRACS study log-Day 10: There is a faint light at the end of the tunnel. Rumors of a negotiation of release... but Elliot spent hours forging surgical implements out of liquid hand soap. And so we are continuing with operation "Open Goldwyn". Today we will begin assembling an anesthetic mask from unwashed socks and wild ocean body spray...

PRACS study log-Day 12: Freedom !! We loaded Goldwyn on a makeshift gurney made from...an old gurney we found. As we prepared the microwave and cat bomb to breach the cell door we discovered that it didn't actually have a lock on it...

With no time to linger on that convenient truth we sped north along the dark hall, down two flights of stairs, crept across an exposed catwalk and crawled through a bustling child care recreational coloring area without detection. And we are now free men again !


=0) I'm a proud mama! LOL!

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